4 Tips to Expand Your Child’s Ability to Empathize

Some people seem to be born with a kind heart and a desire to do good for others but every child needs assistance and direction in order to develop into an empathic and compassionate adult. Empathy is the ability to recognize and share the feelings of others and is a prerequisite for becoming compassionate.

Unlike typically developing children, those on the autism spectrum don’t always have the ability to understand their feelings or those of others. They may have trouble regulating, expressing or responding to their emotions BUT they do not have any issues feeling their emotions – they just don’t always know what to do with them or how to show them appropriately. Therefore, most parents of children with autism do have to work a little harder at helping them develop empathy and compassion.

Empathy is a crucial social skill that helps children relate to others and establish relationships. A very important part of the journey to possess compassion for others is to learn how to love. If we want any child, regardless of ability, to be empathic towards others we first have to show them how to love – not casually but sincerely. This includes the love for family, friends, neighbors, animals and even adversaries. Love is a feeling that goes beyond loyalty and respect and we learn to love others by loving ourselves, caring for others and serving them.

Here are four simple tips to nurture love and compassion in your children. To read more, click here

1) Teach your children how to love themselves - If children don’t know how to properly care for themselves they will never be able to properly care for others. Loving others means giving from inside and if nothing substantial or good exists within, there is nothing to draw from and share with others. Helping your child explore how they feel about themselves physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually will help them fulfill their sense of self and supply them with something to send out to others and have it returned in greater measure. Our current media saturated society bombards children with messages and images of unrealistic perfection that they constantly compare themselves to which makes it difficult for children to get in touch with and accept their true and precious selves.

2) Teach your children how to care for animals - You don’t have to buy your child a pet but you should expose them to animals and teach them how to treat them. This is important because animals are a regular part of our culture whether we own them as pets or not. Let’s consider dogs for a moment. If we don’t teach our children how to treat them, we set them up for unnatural fears. When things are foreign to people, they don’t know what to expect and it is easy for young children to fear the unknown. Learning to care for a dog provides children with the opportunity to form strong bonds with a being that gives the most unconditional love on the planet. Children with autism seem to have an uncanny way of relating to animals so take advantage of it.

3) Provide your children with unconditional love – Children do not come into this world planning to misbehave or make our lives miserable. All children want to please and do good but they are not born with all the skills they need to do that. They acquire these skills from us directly or indirectly. Learn to see each misbehavior as an opportunity for teaching a new skill or enhancing one they have not yet mastered. Always separate the misbehavior from the person by letting them know you are upset with the behavior and not with them. This assurance will help them develop and healthy sense of self and will establish an awareness that their identity is less about what they do but more about how to be.

4) Encourage community service – Teach your children the importance of giving to others through service. The gift of time and energy can be more rewarding to give than any material item. The act of doing community service often entails interacting with others on a personal level and getting to know them. Or it involves enhancing someone’s life in some direct or indirect way that has a more meaningful effect on both parties. Identify people in your community that are less fortunate and brainstorm a list of things you can do to bring sunshine into their life then do it together as a family. As your children get older, encourage them to do this independently and make it a year round event as.

What are some ways you have helped your child develop a sense of compassion and empathy for others?

“It is lack of love for ourselves that inhibits our compassion toward others. If we make friends with ourselves, then there is no obstacle to opening our hearts and minds to others.” - anonymous