8 Strategies for Successful Family Meetings

Family meetings are a great way to make good things happen in anyone’s household. Regardless of age and ability, using a family meeting as a way to strengthen connections and communicate with one another in a more focused manner will provide a long list of benefits that ripple into other areas. If you want to refresh your memory about what those benefits are, you can refer to this article Boost Relationships the Easy Way with Kids On or Off the Spectrum

In a family meeting all family members can be made to feel a bigger part of the whole. Very young children, even those with an Autism Spectrum Disorder – verbal or not – can find ways to participate and feel special. Family meetings can be very impromptu or intricately planned. Family meetings can occur weekly, monthly or anytime in between. They can be as formal or informal, long or short as you wish, what’s important is to customize your meetings to fit the needs of your unique family.

There is no cookie cutter recipe or one-size-fits-all approach but here are some strategies you can pick and choose from to create a meeting style of your own. 

1) Develop some type of agenda ahead of time. Every family member should have input into the meeting. When children can suggest topics to be discussed it gives them a sense of ownership and increases participation. Create a space where anyone can write down what they wish to discuss at the next meeting – post a sheet of paper on the refrigerator or put slips into a jar.  This could be about chores, family policies, recent/ongoing disputes, making future plans or what has gone well that week.

2) Have the meeting revolve around a special meal. Identify a meal that your children look forward to and have it on family meeting night. Pizza is always a favorite and can be gluten free/lactose free if your child with Autism has an intolerance to gluten or dairy. Having a meeting take place around a dessert or popcorn and then a movie are other options that will make a family meeting more enticing to all.

3) Establish an opening and ending ceremony. Consider beginning your meeting by highlighting accomplishments, attitudes and effort.  Try to make your praise specific rather than general.  For example, “I like the way you greeted Aunt Beth when she visited this week,” instead of “I like it when you are nice.”  Encourage siblings to give compliments to each other and accept them graciously with thanks.  Beginning with a song, a pledge, a chant or a poem are other possibilities for opening rituals.

4) Set goals.  This is a great time to practice goal setting.  Determine individual and family goals – both short and long term. Review the progress being made toward these goals at every meeting and mention what everyone is doing to make it happen.  You can even try marking your progress with a visual prop to mark effort and maintain motivation.

5) Clarify Expectations.  A family meeting may be a good time to review chores and discuss any roadblocks that may be in the way of achieving tasks.  Being specific is crucial for children with Autism who tend to be literal and concrete thinkers. “Put the dishes in the dishwasher,” rather than “Clean the kitchen.”

6) Update the Calendar. Use family meeting time to coordinate busy schedules.  What activities or appointments does each person have in the upcoming week and when? Who is picking up whom, when, and where? Taking notes and marking decisions on a family calendar works well for visual thinkers and helps to create a predictable world for your children, something children with Autism thrive on.

7) Pay attention to sensory issues. Make it a point to create a sensory friendly environment for all your children. Consider space, lighting, noise and other things that might cause a child to become over-stimulated and therefore distracted. Keeping screen machines unplugged during the meeting is a good place to start.

Make it fun. Family meetings are a great time for laughter and fun – a great way to promote bonding among all participants. Music, crafts, games, theater and other activities all have the potential for making meetings memorable and will ensure that everyone will want to come back for more.

Whatever recipe you put together for holding your family meetings I encourage you to make them happen consistently. Having regular family meetings to look forward to instead of ones that occur in reaction to a crisis or an issue will guarantee that they continue to be met with positive anticipation. The other bonus that comes with regular family meetings is the creation of very fond memories that you and your children will have for the rest of your lives.

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If you have any family meeting strategies of your own that work for you, please add them to the comment box below – other parents will thank you.